reading

So my friends have turned me onto reading the twilight books. and i have to say that i haven't been able to concentrate on anything but the books. I have neglected my homework all weekend. Well i went away this weekend but i read my book as much as possible. and i just spent the last 4 hrs or so reading the 2nd book. i finished it. i couldn't put it down. And now i'm here writing about it. I have a mountain of homework to do and I'll i want to do is read the next book. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WHEN THEY ARE OVER? god, it drives me insane. i feel like i'm part of the book. I am that girl who wants to be loved. i wish i had love like that. I wish i had someone who loved me as much i loved them like that. and when they broke up in the 2nd book, i cried ... i cried like i had just lost the one i loved. I wonder if I will ever find that man who will protect me and take care of me and yet let me be me. It has been so long since i've felt that.

My trip to Wilmington

Confused ??

So here I am watching the debate between the two presidential candidates. And while I am glad that I am not sitting here having to listen to Bush talk as I did the last 2 times, I am still confused as to who to vote for. I am remembered how much I hate politics. I am bored of McCains stories. And I can't help be reminded of Bush when he talks. This doesn't mean that Obama any better. Maybe my confusion is because half the time I dont understand what the hell they are talking about. How can we vote for people who are speaking Washington DC political mumbo jumbo? If I have no idea what these plans and how our government works now, how will the majority of the people who are voting know what they are talking about. They need to have like voting 101, which explains the basic ideas that are concentrated on during the voting season. Most of what they are saying is just mumbo jumbo. Is anyone else not only confused as to who to vote for, but what they are actually saying?? History class never prepared me for understanding politics at this level. UGH!

Things you didn't know

Ok So here are a few things you didn't know about me. 

I am an Aries, and my horoscope usually holds true. 

I'm the oldest in my family, and the only girl. 

I'm in my 5th year of college, with 2 more years of graduate school.

I want to be an art therapist, and own my own place of business. 

I've had 3 boyfriends in the past 5 years. 

and yet i've only been on 3 real dates. 

my favorite color is blue.

I recycle as much as possible.

I love to cook but never have time.

I dont eat pork, not even bacon except on christmas. 

the one thing i can eat every day is chicken. 

I hate BBQ. 

I am probably the pickest eater you will ever meet. 

I know how to check everything your supposed to know how to check under your hood of your car, thanks to my dad who took the time this summer to teach me! 

I would much rather be in a three hour art class than have to deal with the workload that comes with taking a regular class. 

Blogger

So as I go about my normal life, I find myself thinking of the things I wish to tell. Not only that but i find myself thinking in blogging mode. So anyways, I feel like I'm going into a new phase in my life. I feel the urge to travel. To spend more than a few days in one place. I want to really learn and study the art found in monuments in India. I want to see the people in Africa. I want to really loose myself in Asian culture, as well as others. And now i'm trying to figure out a way to do that financially. If anyone has some ideas i'm open. 

 Now that i'm home and sitting, my brain doesn't want to think straight. So I can't think of everything I wanted to say. But I got the most important out there. 

 Oh and If everyone could email me their address. I would like to update my address book and I know that several of you have moved since the last time I got new numbers. Thank you!

below are pictures from this summer in Utah, my professional portfolio pieces, my visit with my cousin andrew and when I went home with my friend Katie awhile back. Enjoy... 

Photo's

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Busy as a Bee

So this past week and continuing into this week, has been busy busy busy. I worked 30 hrs last week and around 20 hrs this week. Last week I balanced the work hours, um 20 hrs of class, 10 hrs of studying neuropsychology ( the anatomy of the brain and how it works), social time, helping friend with project, 10 hrs of other homework, sleeping, etc. My cousin Andrew from Wyoming came to visit. He got here on saturday. I had to work and so I had my friend Katie spend some time with him until I got off of work. She is a good friend! Sunday I had off from work, thank god, and I showed him the town, and the school. I love having visitors and getting to show people where i go to school. What I do when I'm down here. We had a blast. I took him to have real southern food, which is hard in this college town because most of the food choices are chains serving all american food. He just finished culinary school and is looking to experience the country and it's food. He made all of us french toast on sunday, which was absolutely delicious. Thank you Andrew.

 This week I am balancing work and catching up on my color photo projects. We are finishing a seven point project dealing with the different time of day. I am going to Wilmington, NC this weekend to take pictures. After taking pictures of mostly greenville for 3 yrs It's time to get out and explore the state. I hope I'm able to get everything I need. Let's hope the weather is ok, but sadly it looks like it's going to rain. :( ...

 
So my computer is dying. And I will have to add pics later. 

setting this straight

Ok so apparently I have left people wondering some things about my life and what everyone doesn't know. Honestly, I guarantee you that you do not want to know the details of my life. There are some things that should be kept secret. and there they will stay. I just was saying that I remember things in really good details. I have a good memory when it comes to pivotal moments in my life. I play back every good memory in my mind all the time. Sometimes I wish I could tell someone my deepest secrets of life as I know it. But I'm not sure that everyone would really want to know once i've told them, or appreciate my life as I do. Maybe this is all a little hard for everyone to understand. But everyone has their secrets. 

I also want people to know that I am happy with my life. I dont regret anything I've done. Everything happens for a reason. Everyone has those days where things just tumble down and make you miserable and sad. my last post was one of those days. For the most part I love my body. I have never really wanted to be truely skinny. I just dont think that its fair that every time i eat, the pounds go where they are least needed, on my chest. and seriously is it fair to loose weight, and yet have it distributed from one area onto my chest? I dont have time to spend 2 hrs a day at the gym. I struggle with weight but I am a happy person. A tired, sleep deprived, bag carrying, HAPPY person. I love my life. i wouldn't change anything. I love being in NC, i love my family, I love being a photography major and the fact that I want to help people and open my own business as an art therapist. All these things make me happy. 

frustration with weight

There are many of us that have dealt with weight issues. I lost 20 pounds this summer, and while I seemed to have lost weight in width around my back, the cup size of my boobs went up. I went to get sized yesterday since I had lost weight and was thrown a curve ball. Never did I think that my boobs could grow any bigger than they already were. How frustrating to have lost weight in one area but gain weight in another. It makes me want to cry and scream. How unfair! It is hard enough to find bra's in the size I was. Not to mention shopping for shirts and jackets. I have to fit the biggest part of me and then the rest of me ends up loosing out by being hidden underneath a shirt that is too big everywhere else but my chest.

I'm fed up. I'm sick of people complaining about being skinny and trying to not gain weight. I eat as healthy as possible. Sure sometimes i splurge and go to mcdonalds. ( one of the things I have given up this summer). I love food. It is so hard to say no to foods you love. I love chocolate, and chicken, duck, and french fries. I get bored of eating the same food over and over, not to mention that eating healthy is expensive. I'm a college student. I dont have money to buy fresh food. Besides eating salads day in and day out is boring to me.

So here i am ranting and raving. I'm at a loss at to what to do and I'm surrounded by a skinny diet-craved society who complains about a few pounds when they are a size 2. 

TAG your it

i tag

I am: super tired

I think: that I'm stretching myself to thin

I know: that I have a good, strong head on my shoulders

I want: to be successful in life 

I have: too much to worry about

I dislike: people who tell me one thing and do another ... aka liars

I miss: how life used to be 

I fear: that i'll never get true happiness

I feel: like i'm missing out on things , that life life is passing me by while i'm stuck doing the things i have to do

I hear: my tv and the airconditioning

I smell: nothing

I crave: well something no one really wants to know i'm sure and of course chocolate... but most of all i crave for happiness, day in and day out 

I cry: when i think about certain people i have loved 

I usually: push myself hard

I search: the web for random things

I wonder: if i will ever find true love

I regret: nothing 

I love: my family 

I care: about everyone who touches my life, everyone i love 

I always: am on time, if not early

I worry: about everything

I am not: a failure 

i remember:  a lot of great moments that no one knows about me with great detail

I believe: in true love

I dance: in my car and my apt 

I sing: in the shower and the car

I dont always: shower ... i just dont have time 

I wish: i didn't worry so much

I argue: about everything

I write: on my blog

I type: on my computer

I win: never

I loose: a lot

i listen: good

I dont understand: our political system

i need: a vaccation 

I am scared: of being alone

I forget: a lot of things when i have too much going on which is like always 

I am happy: to alive and doing what i love 

tag your it now... it's a lot of fun!

life

I will be so happy when studying and being the middle man in all the financial aid business is finished. As I am writing this, I am on hold for the financial aid office to see what is up with my dad's parent loan going through, which hasn't gone through yet. I am number 7 in cue.

I'm exhausted from working all day yesterday and then going to the library to try and get some studying done. I stayed for about an hr. Made some note cards (which i have about a deck and a half so far and still one more chapter to go), (oh i'm 5 now) and read part of chapter 3 for Neuropsychology. Let me tell you, Neuro psych has more to do about science then psychology. And sadly, I haven't taken a science class related to the body since high school. So I am at a huge disadvantage, unlike everyone else in the class that is a normal student on campus taking regular science required classes. ( I only had to take one science class being an art major and I took the easiest class ever, an geology class.) I will be studying this stuff all week while I'm still reading the last chapter before our test next monday. God help me. But at least I will have a reward when it is all finished. My cousin, well second cousin, Andrew is coming to visit. The one from Wyoming. He just finished culinary school in Vermont. Lucky him is taking a road trip and needs a place to crash between Virginia and Tennessee. I can't wait. I love having visiters. And I rarely get any.

 In 2 weeks, I'm excited because I will be taking a small road trip of my own to Wilmington, NC. It's about 2 hrs from here. I need to take a bunch of pictures for my photo class and after taking pictures of Greenville for the last 3 years, i'm bored. So I have decided to head out and explore some places i've always wanted to see. It is afterall my last year here.

2 weeks after that, I'm going to Charlottesville, VA for the ECU - UVA football game. I can't wait. My parents and ashby are coming down for the game. Last I heard ECU is 14th in the nation. We've won all our games so far this year, and the first 2 were televised! It's been an exciting year for the Pirates! My dad is a UVA alumni and loves football. We are sitting on the UVA side, but i'll be in ECU GEAR cheering on my school, while dad cheers on his. I can't wait to hang with my family and get out of greenville again.

  
sadly, I am still on hold with Financial aid. I'm only number 4 at this point. And I need to get to the bank soon. oh number 3 in cue... Well better go. 

9/11

Natti inspired me. As I was going around school today, the buses as they always have on today displayed a tribute to 9-11 and not forgetting. But I feel like most people have forgotten. Because we aren't fighting on our soil, we have forgotten that we are in a war. Though i'm not sure how because everything that is going on in today's society is a result from this war and what happened on 9/11.




I still haven't forgotten where I was on this horrible day. I still get chills when I think about it. And whenever the national athem is played I get goose bumps, my heart pounds, and I hold back the tears.


It was 10th grade. I was in history class with Mr. Sullivan. I dont remember what we were talking about but all of a sudden another teacher comes in the back and says "Turn on the Tv, the twin towers are being bombed!" We looked at him like he was crazy and He just said "turn on CBS". So we did and we all stared at disbelief. We say the first tower on fire and within seconds of turning on the Tv, the second plane went into the 2nd tower. The rest of the day was a blurr. Everyone was in disbelief, many people worried about relatives who lived or worked in the city. Most teachers wouldn't let us watch the tv, they wanted to protect us. I remember watching for weeks after, the footage over and over. Sometimes I wish they would still play it as a daily reminder. My dad went down to the city to serve the volunteers food and I wish I could have gone, but they weren't letting anyone under 18 into the city.




I dated a guy for a long time who fought in the war. And though we aren't together anymore I thank everyone who fights our war for us. I feel horrible that we are sending our generation to a war when they aren't even old enough to legally buy a beer in our country. These poor men and women fighting for our country and coming back a shell of a person and no where to turn for help. As much as I'm glad that there is someone to fight for our country, I hope this war ends soon so that they can just be regular people.


Let us never forget.

things

So I was at work last night and was faced with being accused of saying something that could be interpreted as racist. As I have said I work with all black people. And I should say that I am the farthest thing from being a racist. If anything I am the complete opposite and am one of the most opened people I know. So anyways, I was on register and I had some cold items that needed to be taken back right away so they wouldn't go bad. So I called over the PA system for a "bag boy", which since the people who bag are mainly boys and that is what we call them at Hannaford's (the grocery store i work at in NY). Later, my supervisor came over to me and was like "Please don't call them "bag boys", call them "baggers" because the term "boy" is offensive to people of color." (as she pointed to her own arm).  I was horrified at the fact that someone might think I was being racist. To be honest I was not even thinking that what I was saying could be misinterpreted. I feel horrible. I have never faced this before. I have never been accused of being racist. Needless to say, I will be watching what I say at work from now on. 

 

Who to Vote for?? Anyone have some insight??

So i dont know about ya'll but I am so confused about voting. This will be my second time voting in a presidential election. The time to make a decision is close approaching and I have no idea who to vote for. I know one thing, I dont think that I can vote to McCain. I started out liking Obama but then he came to ECU for a talk last year and I felt that he just talked about what would America better not what he was going to do to get America to that point. Also, now that they've picked VP's, I found that I had no idea who these people were. So I found a website that broke down their beliefs.      www.onetheissues.org

To sum it up:

McCain is for: schools having pray , death penatly, privatize SS, replace coal & oil with alternatives, illegal immigrants earn citizenship, expand the armed forces, stricter restrictions on political campaigns

McCain against: women's right to abortion, taking US troops out of Iraq, make taxes more progressive, more federal funding for health care

Sarah Palin is against abortion, against education of contraception (I know that many people agree with this but I feel that we should at least educate our kids; there are too many kids having kids because they dont know anything about contraception and protecting themselves), is all about finding our own source for oil instead of getting it from somewhere else, doesn't know how to end war in Iraq but wants to keep the troops safe as well as us. 

Obama is for: women's right to abortion, more federal funding for health care, replacing coal & oil with alternatives, make taxes more progressive, illegal immigrants earn citizenships, stricter limitations on political campaigns, US out of Iraq

Obama is against: teacher led prayer in school, death penalty, privatize social security, 

Joe Bidden is for allowing women to choose, save pentagon savings by getting out of iraq, civil unions ok and gay marriage inevitable, voted no on allowing pray in school, reducing oil use.

 So if anyone has anything to add to this or any insight to the whole who would be better at running the country please let me know...  

JOB

So I can't remember if I told ya'll or not. I got a new job here at school. I'm working at the Food Lion ( there are 10 million in greenville), which is the sister store of Hannafords, the grocery store that I work at in NY. I am the only white girl who works on the front end. And there aren't many girls either. It's kinda weird but it what it is. There are some things that are the same as Hannafords, but the register is completely different and it freaks me out. Tomorow is my third day of training and on register. I'm slowly getting the hang of the new way of doing things. They are paying me pretty good for being in the south so I can't complain. I'm just happy to making some extra cash.


PS I was wondering if anyone has heard if Johnny and Emily have had their baby yet?? Let me know cause I never hear from them, as I'm sure is the case with everyone.

Hurricane

So it's hurricane season once again. I am in NC getting ready for Hurricane Hanna (or however it's spelled). Today was crazy. Everyone in the town was out shopping for supplies for the weekend, traffic crazy, and everything was closing early. Apparently there is also a curfew for the night so that there aren't people out driving in the middle of the night, when the hurricane is supposed to hit. Honestly, I'm not worried about it. When I lived in Miami, we went thro 3 hurricans right in a row. New York got it worse as a tropical storm then we did in Miami as a hurricane. Some flooding in low areas is all i think the storm will warrant. But with a hurricane in the midst, party time is on. Every time there is a hurricane near, Gvegas is celebrating with "Hurricane party's". Everyone gets stocked up on food and beer and has huge party's while riding out the storm. It's a lot of fun! We'll be on the watch for the next one coming midweek next week, Hurricane Ike....

Labor Day

So this past weekend, I went home with my best friend Katie. It was an interesting weekend. I went to church with her. Her father is a preacher at the local baptist church in her town ( which is the smallest town ever and really spread out. Tobacco country). They have sunday school for everyone the hour before the actual church service. And there was this really passionate (to the point of almost crazy) lady teaching the class. She kept yelling "praise the lord" and "my big daddy"( aka god). It was just a little weird. Her brother became a deacon in the church that day, which was an interesting experience that I have never witnessed.

  
        On Monday, we went to her roommate's, our friend, lake house. I got to ride jet-ski's for the first time. What fun! and then we went on the boat. I have NOT apparently learned my lesson yet. I got sun burnt again. This time, not my back (the only place i did but sunscreen on), but rather on my front. Mainly, my arms and thighs. The next day I tried going to class but was unable to remain the whole time because I couldn't move. My skin was burning, radiating heat, and tight. So I went home and passed out for 4 hrs. I finally made it to the store to get some vinegar which helped hugely. Strangely, the places that hurt the most ( my arms and thighs) are fine now and now my face is left to heal. My face got burnt the worst and wind burned as well. I know, I know.. I'm such an idiot for not using my head and really learning my lesson in getting burnt. I think after this week I have. Better late then never.

    
 There are several pics added to my slide show here from the day's activities.