Ranting and ramblings...

SO i'm just rambling here ... I just got home from work and I'm beat.. I've been beating myself up all day because my boyfriend just wanted to do nothing yesterday. I misconstrued (i hope i spelt that right) what he had said, thinking he had this whole big thing planned and he was just not telling me.. but turns out not true. He really just wanted to spend the day together just lying around in bed. And I was so stupid. All I wanted was what every typical girl wants on Vday... Expensive Roses and a night out on the town and a well thought out nice gift... I let him down because I was disappointed. I set my expectations WAY to high... Ugh.. Why do I always do that? And I dont even want to be that person. I dont want to be materialistic and want to be showed with expensive gifts ( well not all the time). I guess i just wish he had put more thought and romance into the preparation of doing nothing all day in bed... Maybe i'm asking too much.

Anyways. So It's snowing ... After being in Art school for 5 years, I felt a bit burnt out. It takes a lot for me to get motivated. I'm not sure why but I have to feel really passionate and feel a pull to go out and shoot. and I haven't really felt that much lately so I haven't worked on anything really since May. Well it's snowed a few times and I have wished i could have gone and shot some pictures of the town in the snow, but I had to work. So I thought I'd get a chance to do some night shots of the snow falling. Well by the time I got home, the pace of the snow fall had diminished so theres no point in going outside to shoot. I'm hoping for a snow day and a good snow fall to go out tomorrow. I would love to get to go out. I hope i'm also internally motivated. I feel this need to get out there, produce, and get my work out there. I need and want to sell my work... There was definitely not enough time spent on how to get your work out there and how to get it sold. I feel completely lost in this area.

Well not sure what to get out of this rambling... Not sure many care... I feel like there aren't many people my age in my situation. I feel like most of my family is on a completely different path then me. To say I want to follow or have the same life as someone else or a certain person. It's just I have no one anywhere close to what my life is like and So there's no one to relate to... It's somewhat frustrating.. anyways i should check my email and get to bed .. in case that snow day doesn't come...