rambling about xmas

It's almost here. I love christmas so much. But it seems to get tougher and tougher to really enjoy the excitment. It's bogged down by worrying about how to pay for gifts and doctors appointments that I need to get taken care of while i'm home. I have to get my hair cut while i'm home because I haven't found someone i trust to cut my hair in NC. I'm happy because i'm home to celebrate my friends birthday this year. But I also have a bazillion friends who have birthdays around xmas that i have to buy for and go out to eat a million times. I am so broke it's not even funny. and yet i'm at the point where I dont really care. I'm over the worrying how i'm going to pay for it all. i'm over the family drama going on in our family at this point in time. i'm over my brother not wanting to spend time with the family and my parents wondering why. Maybe it's cause we are tired of the resentment issues you have towards each other or the argueing that sorta happens but doesn't cause you dont want to argue. i can't speak for him but i can speak for myself. I AM OVER THE DRAMA BS. I just want to enjoy christmas. I want to enjoy everyone getting together like at our 2nd annual holiday party happening tomorrow. I am so psyched that so many people are coming! I love getting together, even with my parents friends who i've never met or hardly know. I love making loads of food and talking and playing with the kids. it's so much fun. I can't wait for xmas. We go out to eat to dinner for xmas eve and then We go to church xmas eve. my best friend goes to the same church and it's super fun to go. We have a sermon and get chocolates and sing carols. I love singing carols at church. We usually open one gift xmas eve. then ashby goes to bed and we help put the presents under the tree. which to me is super weird helping cause i liked it better not being in the loop. i like surprises and have never been one to try and find my xmas. then we wake up early on christmas day and open stockings first. then we have breakfast and then we open gifts. We sit around afterward playing games and spending time with the family. We go to Mimi's for dinner around 4pm. I love getting the family together and having yorkshire pudding!! i freaking love this stuff so much that I wait all year for it. We all have amazing appetizers and then dinner a few hrs later. We sit and talk with the family about the year and goals and the gifts. It just is so much fun for me. I LOVE CHRISTMAS!